Okay I got into teaching for the same reason everyone else does, to make a difference, to touch a kid's life. However, in my 8 years of teaching (oh my gosh I'm so old!) I have become a little hardened. Sure, I love my kids, well most of them. But there are some kids that you just KNOW aren't going to change. I've written about my difficult 8th grade class before. Well, this week I've been making phone calls and taking control. There was one parent that was left to call. I want her kid OUT of my class. He has been vulgar and rude and very disrespectful in class. The office won't get rid of him so I had a plan. I called Mom and told her how horrible he's been. I held nothing back. I didn't sugar coat it or us PC words. Deep down I was hoping she would feel that her son needed to be moved from my class. Unfortunately, she agreed with me! She ended up bringing her son down to have a meeting this afternoon. He was hot! Very angry and defensive! I told him that he needed to behave. He argued. It went round and round like this for a while.
A side note, yesterday we had an inservice on de-estaclation. How to calm kids down when they start to lose it. I was thinking about that inservice (most of which I thought was silly- again I'm a sarcastic middle school teacher, not a nurturing elementary teacher) the whole time I was talking to this kid. I tried to stand in a "open, non confrontational" stance. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to laugh.
Finally his mother said, "I am embarrassed that you are my son right now." Something inside me broke- maybe my heart.... I realized that this poor boy was being "attacked by both us and it wasn't working. So I told him I didn't hate him or think he was a bad kid. I told him that I thought he was really a good kid deep down just making bad choices. I have to tell you, I don't know if I really believed all of it, but I knew he needed to hear it. Instantly I saw him soften. He EVEN APOLOGIZED TO ME! That was huge! It meant so much to me to hear him apologize! What a difference it made to show this kid that I really did care for him... will he change for good? I don't know. But I maybe, just maybe he will remember one day that I thought he was a good kid, and it will help him make good choices in the future. Maybe these kids aren't bad after all. Maybe I do make a difference sometimes....
1 comment:
I can completely relate with this post. Actually it almost made me cry. I HATE my job and am very close to hating my students. I don't want to be that way! They are the most disrespectful, rude, offensive kids I have ever met. Not to mention the threats and harassment! I have already told them I will not be renewing my contract.
You ARE making a difference to them. Maybe this kid will turn around. At least you have done everything you can to make sure you tried. Keep up the good work!
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